A Tale of Two Middletowns
'Why Locals May Owe You An Apology'
When you hear a Middletown a resident refer to 'two Middletowns,' my guess is your instinct is to go into fighting stance, as the North/South divide has a long and tumultuous history not unlike the Sharks and the Jets, minus the showtunes. But there is another more subtle divide among residents, one that unites even citizens of the North and South sides of town. And it's one I noticed recently, while recommending a local business to a friend.
For the record, I live in the Port Monmouth Section of Middletown, but throughout my lifetime I have lived and worked in almost every section of our 42 square mile little town.
Last month, I brought my favorite cookies to share with friends at a school gift auction at our local VFW. One woman sitting at our table, who had recently moved to Middletown, asked where I had got them. Being a huge supporter of local businesses, I was eager to recommend Cookienapped on Palmer Avenue.
'Oh, How do you get there from here?' she asked.
'So, you go up Main street, past Quackies and then the Duck Pond, it's the first right after the blinking light, but if you hit Bucky Smith's, you went to far.'
She proceeded to look at me like I had just said 2 + 2 = potato. I looked around the table and I noticed a clear divide over who understood me and who didn't. I realized, then and there, I was a townie.
Middletown is made up of two kinds of people. You've got your lifers (aka, townies, locals, know-it-alls) and you've got your transplants (aka, New Yorkers, newbies, permanent bennys). And the divide can even be found in families. For instance, I am a lifer, but my mom moved her from the Oranges, so she's a transplant. Oh, and it's important to note that no matter how long you live here, unless your first pair of shoes were bought at StrideRite in downtown Keyport, Two Guys or Kinney's, you're not a lifer, at least not one over 40. And we will often accept Atlantic Highlands, Highlands and even some Keansburg and Hazlet transplants as locals. We draw the line at Matawan and Little Silver. It's not personal. I didn't make the rules. I just know them.
But we should apologize to our new neighbors, because we just can't help our tight grip on nostalgia, especially when it comes to directions. I don't know if it's elitist or just thoughtless, but I have never asked someone to meet me for a drink at the Olde Village Pub. Now, Kahills I've been to a time or two...(As an aside, if you haven't tried the Olde Village Pub recently, it really is a fun local place with great food specials). If you ask me where the Belford Brewery is, I'm going to say the junction and that's it, no further explanation needed. I imagine no matter what is put at the Lincroft Inn site, locals will still call it the Lincroft Inn. It's who we are. We can't help ourselves. And I apologize.
So as an olive branch, I've put together a few local to transplant definitions to help you when your confronted with a rabid townie...
The Fair - Always means St. Mary's Fair. While we have St. Leo's, St. Catherine's, Navesink, Fireman's and more, 'The Fair' is St. Mary's. It's also the unofficial summer kickoff.
Crickers - The people you see hanging down by the bay or creek (aka crick) at the Bayshore usually fishing or kids hanging out at the White Bridge; can also be used to describe people crabbing anywhere in town. Absolutely NOT a derogatory term. We wear it with pride.
The Shadow - Arguably the greatest police dog of all time. Often heard when referencing trying to get away with something. i.e....don't let the Shadow catch you doing that.
The Hunt - Ya know what? Don't bother trying. If you don't know, I cant explain its unbelievable coolness. Just let the locals have this memory.
Basically, if you are new to our town, welcome! We are really quite friendly and eager to help you get acclimated, but I hope you have a GPS. Because if you are relying on the lifelong residents for directions, you will probably need to know where R&S, Channel Lumber, Roy Rogers, The Depot Inn, H&R Variety and Scribbles were. And if you ever need help figuring out which residents were born and raised here...don't worry, much like Vegans, Liberals and Metallica fans, they'll tell you soon enough.
Please share and help Keep Middletown Informed.
'Why Locals May Owe You An Apology'
When you hear a Middletown a resident refer to 'two Middletowns,' my guess is your instinct is to go into fighting stance, as the North/South divide has a long and tumultuous history not unlike the Sharks and the Jets, minus the showtunes. But there is another more subtle divide among residents, one that unites even citizens of the North and South sides of town. And it's one I noticed recently, while recommending a local business to a friend.
For the record, I live in the Port Monmouth Section of Middletown, but throughout my lifetime I have lived and worked in almost every section of our 42 square mile little town.
Last month, I brought my favorite cookies to share with friends at a school gift auction at our local VFW. One woman sitting at our table, who had recently moved to Middletown, asked where I had got them. Being a huge supporter of local businesses, I was eager to recommend Cookienapped on Palmer Avenue.
'Oh, How do you get there from here?' she asked.
'So, you go up Main street, past Quackies and then the Duck Pond, it's the first right after the blinking light, but if you hit Bucky Smith's, you went to far.'
She proceeded to look at me like I had just said 2 + 2 = potato. I looked around the table and I noticed a clear divide over who understood me and who didn't. I realized, then and there, I was a townie.
Middletown is made up of two kinds of people. You've got your lifers (aka, townies, locals, know-it-alls) and you've got your transplants (aka, New Yorkers, newbies, permanent bennys). And the divide can even be found in families. For instance, I am a lifer, but my mom moved her from the Oranges, so she's a transplant. Oh, and it's important to note that no matter how long you live here, unless your first pair of shoes were bought at StrideRite in downtown Keyport, Two Guys or Kinney's, you're not a lifer, at least not one over 40. And we will often accept Atlantic Highlands, Highlands and even some Keansburg and Hazlet transplants as locals. We draw the line at Matawan and Little Silver. It's not personal. I didn't make the rules. I just know them.
But we should apologize to our new neighbors, because we just can't help our tight grip on nostalgia, especially when it comes to directions. I don't know if it's elitist or just thoughtless, but I have never asked someone to meet me for a drink at the Olde Village Pub. Now, Kahills I've been to a time or two...(As an aside, if you haven't tried the Olde Village Pub recently, it really is a fun local place with great food specials). If you ask me where the Belford Brewery is, I'm going to say the junction and that's it, no further explanation needed. I imagine no matter what is put at the Lincroft Inn site, locals will still call it the Lincroft Inn. It's who we are. We can't help ourselves. And I apologize.
So as an olive branch, I've put together a few local to transplant definitions to help you when your confronted with a rabid townie...
The Fair - Always means St. Mary's Fair. While we have St. Leo's, St. Catherine's, Navesink, Fireman's and more, 'The Fair' is St. Mary's. It's also the unofficial summer kickoff.
Crickers - The people you see hanging down by the bay or creek (aka crick) at the Bayshore usually fishing or kids hanging out at the White Bridge; can also be used to describe people crabbing anywhere in town. Absolutely NOT a derogatory term. We wear it with pride.
The Shadow - Arguably the greatest police dog of all time. Often heard when referencing trying to get away with something. i.e....don't let the Shadow catch you doing that.
The Hunt - Ya know what? Don't bother trying. If you don't know, I cant explain its unbelievable coolness. Just let the locals have this memory.
Basically, if you are new to our town, welcome! We are really quite friendly and eager to help you get acclimated, but I hope you have a GPS. Because if you are relying on the lifelong residents for directions, you will probably need to know where R&S, Channel Lumber, Roy Rogers, The Depot Inn, H&R Variety and Scribbles were. And if you ever need help figuring out which residents were born and raised here...don't worry, much like Vegans, Liberals and Metallica fans, they'll tell you soon enough.
Please share and help Keep Middletown Informed.
First 20 years in Long Branch, summers in Florida next 20 years Atlantic City, last 20 in St. Louis Missouri. I am geographically confused.
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