Try-Hards and WannaBes
Once upon a time there was a frighteningly awkward six foot tall teenager, complete with straw-like hair from Sun-In and bad perms. She was what the kids today might call a ‘try-hard’. In the 80’s and 90’s, we called them ‘wannabes.’ She tried too hard to fit in. She tried too hard to make friends and tried way too hard to make teachers and coaches like her, so calling her a try-hard back then would have been an appropriate addition to the nicknames she was given. Amazon, Loser, Wannabe and the dreaded Hodown. Yup, Hodown, the one that would truly stick. All because one time in 8th grade I...I mean SHE dared to wear her brand new white fringe leather jacket to school the day after Dolly Parton wore the same one on her ABC special entitled the Hodown Showdown. Thanks for that Peter.
Now when you're a WannaBe, there has to be someone you want to be for it to have meaning. So, Once upon a time in Middletown Catholic School, there was a girl named Nikki. She was a little older than the WannaBe (Spoiler Alert...I’m the WannaBe...I know, I know it’s hard to believe with all my adult coolness and astounding grasp of sarcasm and wit, that I could be the uncool HoDown, but alas, apparently being a try hard and 6 feet tall in 7th grade St. Mary’s isn’t the recipe for popularity. Who knew?) But I digress...
Nikki was everything I wanted to be. There was an ease to her popularity. People, whether it be kids, parents, teachers or coaches, seemed to gravitate towards her. She was an exceptional student and enviable athlete. She was the girl who was picked first in sports, even over a lot of the boys. While the WannaBes were using QT for their orange hue, Nikki had a natural glow. She was like the blond haired version of Jo Polniaczek (Face it, everything’s better with a Facts of Life reference)and I honestly remember thinking how much easier life would be if I were her.
Keep in mind this is my impression of who she was. I was on a few sports teams with her here and there, but I didn’t know her well. I wasn’t friends with her. But being our St. Mary’s/Mater Dei bubble was so small, everyone believed we knew what was going on with everyone else. We were wrong.
Fast forward 25 years and through the magic of Mark Zuckerberg, we become Facebook friends. I start to learn from her posts about her struggles with addiction and how she is using her own story to help others. At first I was completely taken aback. This wasn’t the path anyone expected for Nikki. And, to be honest, even if it was, the people we grew up with certainly didn’t publicize our challenges. We were supposed to sweep our struggles under the rug and keep secrets and never, ever ask for help. And here was the girl I envied so deeply as a teenager, sharing the details of her struggles, and unabashedly asking for help, not just for her, but so she could continue her work helping others. And I find myself, the recovering WannaBe, in awe of Nikki today, maybe even more so than when I was young.
I won’t rehash her whole story here, I’ll post her APP story in her own words in the comments. I write this today because I think this kind of bravery and fortitude to put your life out there should be respected and more than that encouraged.
I believe we all have a little try-hard in us. We try hard to keep the things we are ashamed of to ourselves. Those moments that you lie awake thinking of at 330 in the morning that we wish we hadn’t said or done. Nikki, on the other hand is trying hard to use her story to give a hand up to those whose challenges don’t have the luxury of privacy.
We are known for a lot of things in Middletown, good and bad. Middletown is known for our safety, our top notch school district and athletic programs, and our sense of community. We are also known for having addiction problems within our population. I’d like to think we are capable of being known for second chances. We can debate for days the different ways to fight addiction, but I think one common denominator has to be a clear path back to some sense of normalcy. Nikki has found that path and wants nothing more than to shine a light on that path for others to follow.
Nikki has started a petition on-line to use her story to show others there is a way back from addiction. It’s reached almost 8000 signatures, as of this blog. I know in my heart we can do better. We can reach and even exceed the goal of 20,000. Middletown can and should be known for second chances, especially for those brave enough to share their hardest moments to help others. So I’m asking you to go Try-Hard for Nikki. Sign the petition. Share the petition. If you have friends or family in the public eye, encourage them to learn about Nicole Tierney and share her story...
https://www.change.org/p/phil-murphy-give-second-chances-expungements-to-non-violent-non-sexual-offenders-who-ve-rehabilitated
I know I always ask you to Share and Help Keep Middletown Informed....But this time, I implore you to do this. Not just for the Try-Hards and WannaBes but for your neighbors, friends and family who fight addictions every day. None of us are immune to the drug epidemic. We’ve all been touched in one way or another. This is one small way we can start to make a big difference in the road to recovery.
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